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-My name is Mawaan. I'm 24 years old.

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I was born in Pakistan and I grew up in Essex,

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and earlier this year, I told my parents that I'm gay.

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And they weren't too happy about it.

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[ Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" plays ]

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I mean, I don't know why they were shocked.

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I've spent the last five years mincing around on YouTube.

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Leave a comment in the section below

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or leave a video response if you think you're a bad man.

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All the signs were there, but to a Pakistani parent,

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it was the worst news ever.

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I want to know what, in our culture,

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has led them to be like that

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and why they don't agree with being gay.

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So, what I really want to do is go back to Pakistan

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and see what life is like there, being gay.

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I want to know if there's a gay scene.

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Do they party?

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Do they all hang out together?

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Is it top secret, or can people be open?

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I want to know if there's cruising grounds.

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I want to know how dangerous it is.

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I'm really curious to see what my life would have been like

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had I stayed in Pakistan when I was a kid.

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It's an exciting but scary prospect

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because I'm trying to, I guess, lift the lid on something

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that my parents would never talk to me about

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and I've been told to totally suppress and hide.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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This is Karachi, one of the world's most dangerous cities.

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It's notorious for terror attacks,

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kidnapping, and organised crime.

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♪♪

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The last time I was here was about eight years ago.

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For me, it's two worlds

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that have never collided before, you know.

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Being Pakistani and being gay are not two things

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that go together in my head, so I'm a bit nervous.

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First, I'm going downtown

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to remind me of the sights and smells of the country

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I was born in and to get a new look.

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I need to take off my skinny jeans, basically,

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cos I look really out of place.

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Not very connected to the everyday Pakistani man.

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Like this man.

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-Can you see yourself wearing those?

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-Yeah!

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Yeah, yeah, this is definitely my colour.

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Are you meant to bargain here?

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Thank you.

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They're 200 rupees.

53
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It's a bit out of my budget.

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£1.60 -- that's a lot.

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Karachi is Pakistan's largest city.

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23 million people live here.

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It's a place where, whatever you want, you can get a bargain.

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[ Chickens squawk ]

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It's 200 rupees for a chicken.

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That's the same as the slippers.

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-[ Chanting ]

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-I don't want to see my food being killed.

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[ Darthreider's "Komeigi Beat" plays ]

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Oh, I need to get some spices.

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Look at that!

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Looking around, I'm getting the feeling

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Pakistan may just be a little gay.

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Whoa, look at them!

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Rainbow chicks!

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Look at that!

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That would go down really well at a gay bar, wouldn't it?

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It's just like Soho.

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Rainbow chicks?

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Men in pink hats?

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Holding hands in public?

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It all seems pretty gay to me.

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But really, just how gay is Pakistan?

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When Pakistanis were asked in 2013

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whether homosexuality was acceptable,

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only 2% said yes.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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I've only just arrived, and already I've been invited

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to my first ever gay party in Pakistan.

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It's been organised by gay activists Kami and Sid.

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I'm a bit nervous now.

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I'm going to...

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I might feel really out of place, you know.

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I just wonder if it'll be anything like Soho.

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-Let's go. -Alright, let's go.

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[ Kavita Krishnamurthy's "Dola Re Dola" plays ]

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♪♪

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♪♪

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I'm Mawaan.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

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They don't -- They haven't been drinking.

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This is just their first hour of the party.

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It's very Bollywood. It's very, like...

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Big, big shapes.

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The bigger, the better is the motto on the dance floor.

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♪♪

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Hi.

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It's nice to -- Oh, Sid, it's nice to meet you.

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I'm Mawaan.

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You're the Sid. -Yes.

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-Oh, brilliant. Nice to meet you, man.

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I wore a shirt. I never wear a shirt.

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I thought I'd be smart to be relaxed.

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-I have...

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-[ Laughs ] I just realised what that is!

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Brilliant!

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That is a buttocks on your... Yeah, brilliant.

116
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How many people know about something like this?

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I guess it's not very public.

118
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So, that's Kami? -That's Kami.

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Kami!

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-Sid and Kami have been together for seven years.

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Kami is a transgender woman.

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Their parties are well-known on the local gay scene.

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Despite the risk, people were willing to talk to me.

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Do your family know you're gay?

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So, when you go to a party like this,

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what do you tell them?

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Do you ever feel in danger?

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Talking to the people at the party,

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it was clear there was a real sense of fear.

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But still, they were determined to have their voices heard

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and to show me the way they live their lives.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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It's the day after the party, and Sid and Kami

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have invited me over to their place.

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Hey!

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How are you doing, man? -I'm good.

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-Good to see you.

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-Hello, Kami, how are you? -Hello, how are you?

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-Good to see you again.

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It was a great party, guys, really good, really fun.

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Even though last night's party passed off without a hitch,

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that's not always how they turn out.

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When you realised they had guns, were you scared?

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-No, why should I? -Because guns are scary!

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Kami and Sid are openly campaigning for gay rights.

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That's pretty rare in Pakistan.

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Now, they are preparing

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to go even further to show how they feel.

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Right.

151
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And he's going to marry you? -Yeah.

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-So you're going to have a big, gay Muslim wedding?

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-Yeah.

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Sid and Kami are determined to return to Pakistan

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to live as an openly gay married couple.

156
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So, you want to get married,

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but you want to stay in Pakistan?

158
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So, you could, potentially,

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be the first gay couple to get married in Pakistan.

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-Yeah.

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♪♪

162
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-Right, bye, guys. -Bye-bye.

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-Bye-bye.

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♪♪

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They're lovely, loving, creative people.

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But at the same time, there's a sense of, you know,

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"We're not going to take any shit from anyone."

168
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And if they have to get aggressive, they will,

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and they will do what they need to do to survive.

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I never imagined a Muslim imam anywhere in the world

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would be willing to carry out a gay wedding.

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So, what about the local imams?

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How do they feel about us gays?

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I'm on my way to go and meet an imam,

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and so I thought I'd go and buy

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a traditional Pakistani kurta cos I want to pay my respects.

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I'm a bit anxious, to be honest,

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cos I've never really spoken to a religious leader

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about what it means to be gay.

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I've never really had the urge to.

181
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But I'm really looking forward to hearing his point of view.

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-What do you think he might say?

183
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-Um, I get the feeling that he's not going to be

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a massive fan of the gays.

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♪♪

186
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Maulana Hakeem Akbar Dars

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is one of Pakistan's leading Islamic scholars.

188
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He's even got his own TV show.

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I'm really nervous now.

190
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Salaam alaikum. -Salaam alaikum.

191
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This guy is well-respected in the community,

192
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and people come to him from across the country for advice.

193
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But I don't think I'm a patient.

194
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It's not an illness.

195
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I'm a perfectly healthy man,

196
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and you and the rest of society

197
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keep referring to me as a patient.

198
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That's quite degrading for me.

199
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Or leave the country of origin. Okay.

200
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So, which out of those three options

201
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do you think I should do?

202
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Which is the best option for me?

203
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Allah hafiz. -Allah hafiz.

204
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-I don't really know what to say.

205
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I feel -- I feel quite sad, in a way,

206
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because it makes me think, if I was living in this country

207
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and I was handed over to someone like him,

208
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I would have no say in how I live my life whatsoever.

209
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I can't wait to un-gay myself at the clinic.

210
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That should be interesting.

211
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[ Talvin Singh's "Sutrix" plays ]

212
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♪♪

213
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Having the imam tell me that my life is in danger

214
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was a reality check.

215
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But I feel lucky knowing that I can hop on a plane

216
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and run back to London.

217
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But for most of Pakistan's gay community,

218
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leaving isn't an option.

219
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Back at Sid and Kami's house,

220
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I'm about to meet their flatmate, Shahzadi,

221
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who's a transgender woman like Kami

222
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and has agreed to talk to me.

223
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After she was kicked out of home,

224
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Kami and Sid offered her a place to stay.

225
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-Hello. -Hello.

226
00:17:31,756 --> 00:17:33,077
How are you, Sid?

227
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Good to see you, man.

228
00:17:36,031 --> 00:17:38,255
-Good to see you again. -Is Shahzadi in?

229
00:17:38,394 --> 00:17:39,888
-Yes, she is in.

230
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-Shahzadi sometimes works as a prostitute

231
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to get enough cash to live.

232
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Good to see you.

233
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Thank you very much.

234
00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,088
Since being beaten up,

235
00:19:26,227 --> 00:19:29,771
Shahzadi finds it difficult to leave the house on her own.

236
00:19:31,439 --> 00:19:33,003
Today, she's got a doctor's appointment,

237
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so she's asked her boyfriend, Amir, to take her.

238
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Amir met Shahzadi on Facebook.

239
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They've been together for six months.

240
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Almost every transgender woman in Pakistan

241
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takes female hormones.

242
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They reduce your body hair, increase breast size,

243
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and shrink your testicles.

244
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But Shahzadi thinks that the hormones

245
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she's been taking aren't working.

246
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They've left her depressed, and her hair is falling out.

247
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For transgender women in Pakistan,

248
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the removal of the male sexual organs

249
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is the final stage of becoming a woman.

250
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It's commonly referred to here as castration.

251
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Shahzadi's life here is very tough.

252
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She's got to deal with the problems

253
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of transitioning to a woman,

254
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and, at the same time, she faces the daily threat

255
00:21:13,956 --> 00:21:17,569
of physical violence and sexual assault.

256
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Despite being illegal,

257
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convictions for homosexuality in Pakistan are rare.

258
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The government and police seem to turn a blind eye,

259
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as long as it's all kept behind closed doors.

260
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But Kami and Sid seem determined

261
00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:42,069
to bring gay rights out into the open.

262
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Kami and her friends have invited me

263
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to go shopping for a wedding dress in downtown Karachi.

264
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I thought we were going to meet in a shopping mall,

265
00:21:53,711 --> 00:21:55,866
but it looks like we're going to go shopping

266
00:21:56,005 --> 00:22:00,453
out and about in the market, which will be interesting.

267
00:22:00,592 --> 00:22:02,294
I'm not too sure

268
00:22:02,434 --> 00:22:05,387
how people are going to react to Kami in public,

269
00:22:05,526 --> 00:22:08,828
and I feel slightly on edge about it.

270
00:22:12,025 --> 00:22:13,206
Hello. -Hey.

271
00:22:13,345 --> 00:22:15,222
-How are you? Good to see you.

272
00:22:15,361 --> 00:22:16,542
Hello, Kami. -How are you?

273
00:22:16,681 --> 00:22:18,176
-How are you?

274
00:22:18,315 --> 00:22:19,531
Good to see you again.

275
00:22:27,523 --> 00:22:29,053
-And are we going to be in public, outdoors?

276
00:22:29,192 --> 00:22:31,104
-Yes, yes, yes. -Okay.

277
00:22:31,242 --> 00:22:33,189
[ Ananda Shankar's "Dancing Drums" plays ]

278
00:22:33,327 --> 00:22:40,034
♪♪

279
00:22:40,174 --> 00:22:47,054
♪♪

280
00:22:47,193 --> 00:22:48,236
Which one -- what colour do you want?

281
00:22:48,374 --> 00:22:49,695
Red?

282
00:22:54,978 --> 00:22:56,020
And you want to be traditional?

283
00:22:56,159 --> 00:22:58,557
-Yes. It should be traditional.

284
00:22:59,773 --> 00:23:01,476
-[ Laughing ] I know.

285
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:03,005
I feel really watched right now.

286
00:23:03,144 --> 00:23:04,846
-Yes. [ Laughs ]

287
00:23:07,627 --> 00:23:08,531
But they've just stopped.

288
00:23:08,669 --> 00:23:09,955
They're not even subtle.

289
00:23:10,094 --> 00:23:12,005
[ Asha Bhosle's "Ina Mina Dika" plays ]

290
00:23:12,144 --> 00:23:16,801
♪♪

291
00:23:28,582 --> 00:23:29,694
[ Laughter ]

292
00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:31,744
-Okay, thank you so much.

293
00:23:31,883 --> 00:23:33,620
Thank you so much.

294
00:24:19,353 --> 00:24:21,056
Okay, thank you. -You're welcome.

295
00:24:21,195 --> 00:24:23,176
-[ Laughs ]

296
00:24:23,315 --> 00:24:25,226
And outside the shop, Kami and her friends

297
00:24:25,365 --> 00:24:28,702
are beginning to attract even more attention.

298
00:25:45,258 --> 00:25:47,204
-Thank you so much.

299
00:25:47,343 --> 00:25:50,505
[ Speaking native language ]

300
00:26:06,247 --> 00:26:07,430
-Look at the people.

301
00:26:07,568 --> 00:26:10,313
They're all still standing there, watching.

302
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:21,260
♪♪

303
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,859
I was feeling anxious.

304
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,013
I wanted to stop him, but Kami was like,

305
00:26:25,153 --> 00:26:27,759
"Bring it on. I know how to deal with this."

306
00:26:27,898 --> 00:26:30,087
And I was like, "Yeah, can we go?"

307
00:26:30,226 --> 00:26:31,859
I just wanted to get out of there.

308
00:26:31,998 --> 00:26:33,840
That was really uncomfortable.

309
00:26:33,979 --> 00:26:37,906
It could have kicked off, I reckon, if it had carried on.

310
00:26:38,949 --> 00:26:41,312
I want to go back to Zone 2, London,

311
00:26:41,451 --> 00:26:43,432
and curl up in a little ball.

312
00:26:43,570 --> 00:26:45,308
I'm done with Pakistan.

313
00:26:47,949 --> 00:26:49,757
Despite what I've just seen,

314
00:26:49,895 --> 00:26:52,223
the sight of a transgender woman on the streets here

315
00:26:52,363 --> 00:26:54,934
is more common that you might think.

316
00:26:55,942 --> 00:26:57,471
They are known as hijras,

317
00:26:57,610 --> 00:27:01,085
and they've been part of the culture for centuries.

318
00:27:01,224 --> 00:27:06,124
Some people think there as many as a million living in Pakistan.

319
00:27:13,144 --> 00:27:15,924
Later that night, across the other side of town,

320
00:27:16,063 --> 00:27:17,453
Shahzadi's taken me

321
00:27:17,592 --> 00:27:20,824
inside the hidden world of transgender women.

322
00:27:23,499 --> 00:27:25,828
She's come to visit her friends.

323
00:27:42,405 --> 00:27:43,968
In Pakistan and India,

324
00:27:44,107 --> 00:27:46,401
hijras are often rejected by their families

325
00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:49,875
and live on the margins of society.

326
00:27:50,015 --> 00:27:52,447
The hijra community is run by gurus.

327
00:27:52,586 --> 00:27:55,783
Shahzadi's guru is Zeni.

328
00:27:55,922 --> 00:27:58,181
A guru is basically a mentor,

329
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,996
someone who can help newer members of the hijra community

330
00:28:01,135 --> 00:28:03,081
with any problems they may face --

331
00:28:03,220 --> 00:28:06,347
everything from housing to boyfriends.

332
00:28:44,609 --> 00:28:47,736
♪♪

333
00:28:47,876 --> 00:28:49,752
Like many transgender women,

334
00:28:49,891 --> 00:28:51,906
Shahzadi has been taking female hormones

335
00:28:52,046 --> 00:28:54,304
to transition to a woman.

336
00:28:55,938 --> 00:28:58,996
Now, she's thinking about taking it to the next stage

337
00:28:59,135 --> 00:29:01,429
and having the operation.

338
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,649
[ Speaking native language ]

339
00:30:05,788 --> 00:30:06,969
-It's interesting.

340
00:30:07,109 --> 00:30:09,089
-Yeah, really interesting.

341
00:30:09,228 --> 00:30:11,973
It feels like, behind that closed door,

342
00:30:12,113 --> 00:30:15,345
there's a real sense of community and identity

343
00:30:15,483 --> 00:30:18,332
and an abundance of talent and ambition.

344
00:30:18,472 --> 00:30:21,460
It's just when they go into the outside world,

345
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,206
I feel like that's when they feel threatened.

346
00:30:24,345 --> 00:30:28,306
♪♪

347
00:30:30,044 --> 00:30:32,164
♪♪

348
00:30:32,302 --> 00:30:35,048
As my first week in Pakistan comes to an end,

349
00:30:35,187 --> 00:30:37,655
I've seen a society which, at its worst,

350
00:30:37,793 --> 00:30:40,400
rapes and threatens violence to gays

351
00:30:40,538 --> 00:30:44,917
and, at its best, either turns a blind eye or offers up cures.

352
00:30:45,057 --> 00:30:49,087
♪♪

353
00:30:49,227 --> 00:30:50,825
Before leaving Karachi,

354
00:30:50,964 --> 00:30:55,204
I want to take up the mullah on his offer to cure my gayness.

355
00:30:55,342 --> 00:31:02,710
I'm very curious about what, exactly, the cure is.

356
00:31:02,849 --> 00:31:04,621
Salaam alaikum.

357
00:32:50,438 --> 00:32:53,010
Okay, thank you for your time. -Thank you.

358
00:32:53,149 --> 00:32:54,887
Thank you. So kind of you.

359
00:32:56,589 --> 00:33:00,169
-So, we've just got to collect the medicine from the pharmacy.

360
00:33:03,610 --> 00:33:05,591
Salaam alaikum.

361
00:33:10,838 --> 00:33:12,576
It smells like...

362
00:33:12,714 --> 00:33:15,042
cumin and Coco Pops.

363
00:33:15,182 --> 00:33:17,127
[ Telephone rings ]

364
00:33:17,267 --> 00:33:21,750
♪♪

365
00:33:21,889 --> 00:33:24,738
What is this stuff?

366
00:33:24,878 --> 00:33:25,989
He never said.

367
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:28,908
He didn't really tell me what I'm taking.

368
00:33:51,497 --> 00:33:52,435
12 quid!

369
00:33:52,574 --> 00:33:55,320
12 quid for a bit of seasoning!

370
00:33:59,559 --> 00:34:02,235
-And the humiliation. -Oh, yeah.

371
00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:04,563
The humiliation is priceless.

372
00:34:04,702 --> 00:34:12,590
♪♪

373
00:34:12,730 --> 00:34:14,919
If you're having problems with your sexuality

374
00:34:15,058 --> 00:34:18,324
and you're trying to deal with that psychology

375
00:34:18,464 --> 00:34:19,611
and that process,

376
00:34:19,749 --> 00:34:21,487
this is who you go to for help.

377
00:34:21,626 --> 00:34:22,773
That's...

378
00:34:22,911 --> 00:34:25,275
That's scary.

379
00:34:26,283 --> 00:34:27,847
If you're in that situation,

380
00:34:27,985 --> 00:34:30,349
and you're made to believe that you've done something wrong

381
00:34:30,487 --> 00:34:33,649
and there's something fundamentally...

382
00:34:35,179 --> 00:34:37,959
...dirty and ill about you,

383
00:34:38,098 --> 00:34:39,974
that can actually have

384
00:34:40,113 --> 00:34:44,006
long-lasting psychological effects on someone.

385
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,072
After making sure it's safe to take,

386
00:34:48,211 --> 00:34:50,678
I'm ready to be cured.

387
00:34:54,709 --> 00:34:56,794
Okay, here goes.

388
00:34:56,933 --> 00:35:04,196
♪♪

389
00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:06,385
Oh, it tastes really bad!

390
00:35:07,393 --> 00:35:09,548
It just makes me sad to think of some of the people

391
00:35:09,687 --> 00:35:12,919
who might go to him and...

392
00:35:13,057 --> 00:35:14,830
and then the stuff, you know,

393
00:35:14,969 --> 00:35:17,227
the feelings they have to live with

394
00:35:17,367 --> 00:35:21,293
of feeling like they're on the mend

395
00:35:21,433 --> 00:35:23,205
from something that's completely natural.

396
00:35:23,344 --> 00:35:27,410
The next tablet's in a few hours.

397
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,468
Here's to being straight.

398
00:35:33,526 --> 00:35:39,642
♪♪

399
00:35:39,782 --> 00:35:45,897
♪♪

400
00:35:46,037 --> 00:35:48,365
Lahore, the capital of the Punjab

401
00:35:48,503 --> 00:35:51,214
and Pakistan's second-largest city.

402
00:35:51,354 --> 00:35:53,508
It's also where I was born.

403
00:35:53,647 --> 00:35:56,635
Lahore is the place my parents always described

404
00:35:56,775 --> 00:36:00,180
as full of life and character.

405
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,343
I do feel a special connection to Lahore,

406
00:36:03,482 --> 00:36:06,296
even though I don't know it at all.

407
00:36:06,435 --> 00:36:09,771
I've not been back here for almost 10 years.

408
00:36:09,911 --> 00:36:13,073
[ Usha Khanna's "Tera Jasia Pyara Koi Nahin" plays ]

409
00:36:15,818 --> 00:36:18,772
I've come to visit Naz Male Health Alliance,

410
00:36:18,911 --> 00:36:21,170
one of the only organisations working openly

411
00:36:21,309 --> 00:36:24,679
with the LGBT community in Pakistan.

412
00:36:27,494 --> 00:36:30,726
They run a drop-in centre in the middle of town.

413
00:36:32,534 --> 00:36:33,854
People come here to be tested

414
00:36:33,993 --> 00:36:36,704
for sexually-transmitted infections.

415
00:36:41,117 --> 00:36:42,542
-Oh, wow.

416
00:36:42,681 --> 00:36:45,217
So, these are hot spots where sex workers are.

417
00:36:45,357 --> 00:36:47,129
-Yes.

418
00:36:51,890 --> 00:36:54,462
-Is there a lot of positive results?

419
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,242
-Yes, of course. -Exactly.

420
00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,778
-They also come here to socialise,

421
00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:03,844
escape the streets, and forget their worries.

422
00:37:43,773 --> 00:37:46,518
Qasim Iqbal is the boss here.

423
00:37:47,596 --> 00:37:50,516
-What we're doing, what our staff does every day,

424
00:37:50,654 --> 00:37:52,461
is risk their lives...

425
00:37:53,573 --> 00:37:55,380
...when they come to the office.

426
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:56,597
We can be killed.

427
00:37:56,735 --> 00:37:58,056
Anybody could drive by

428
00:37:58,195 --> 00:38:00,767
and throw a bomb at our office.

429
00:38:00,905 --> 00:38:02,296
And nobody would miss us.

430
00:38:02,435 --> 00:38:04,728
It might not even make it in the news.

431
00:38:05,841 --> 00:38:07,509
-Qasim grew up in the US.

432
00:38:07,648 --> 00:38:11,366
But then, at the age of 35, his US citizenship was revoked

433
00:38:11,505 --> 00:38:13,556
because he contracted AIDS.

434
00:38:13,694 --> 00:38:17,413
How was it going from the US to then coming to Pakistan

435
00:38:17,552 --> 00:38:21,166
and having to hide a lot of your identity?

436
00:38:21,305 --> 00:38:23,598
You know, to be honest,

437
00:38:23,737 --> 00:38:26,483
right after coming to Pakistan...

438
00:38:28,220 --> 00:38:30,201
...I was having a lot of gay sex --

439
00:38:30,340 --> 00:38:31,626
[ Laughter ]

440
00:38:31,765 --> 00:38:33,294
...and with the type of men

441
00:38:33,433 --> 00:38:37,290
that I would not have been able to access in the US,

442
00:38:37,430 --> 00:38:40,175
because these were, like, straight men.

443
00:38:41,321 --> 00:38:43,128
And straight men in Pakistan --

444
00:38:43,268 --> 00:38:44,970
a lot of them, not all of them --

445
00:38:45,109 --> 00:38:46,812
do have sex with other men.

446
00:38:46,951 --> 00:38:50,113
They're not attracted to them, but they have sex with them

447
00:38:50,253 --> 00:38:54,909
because women, females, are not accessible easily.

448
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:57,481
-Right.

449
00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:04,987
MSM stands for Men Sleeping with Men.

450
00:39:05,126 --> 00:39:07,350
Straight men sleeping with each other

451
00:39:07,489 --> 00:39:11,277
is not something I ever thought happened in Pakistan.

452
00:39:15,274 --> 00:39:18,991
At sunset, we head out to one of the city's sex hot spots

453
00:39:19,131 --> 00:39:22,744
to hand out condoms specifically to MSMs.

454
00:39:22,884 --> 00:39:24,830
[ Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" plays ]

455
00:39:24,969 --> 00:39:32,753
♪♪

456
00:39:52,075 --> 00:39:54,959
It's not long before we're surrounded by dozens of men

457
00:39:55,099 --> 00:39:57,982
eager to get their hands on the freebies.

458
00:40:05,975 --> 00:40:10,076
Most of them are uneducated labourers from the rural areas

459
00:40:10,215 --> 00:40:12,335
who don't know anything about STIs

460
00:40:12,473 --> 00:40:15,254
and the dangers of unprotected sex.

461
00:40:25,818 --> 00:40:28,945
The outreach team knows most of these guys.

462
00:40:29,954 --> 00:40:31,135
Anyone they don't know

463
00:40:31,275 --> 00:40:34,854
is taken away for a chat to a nearby cafe.

464
00:40:54,245 --> 00:40:57,859
Many of the labourers live in the nearby hotels.

465
00:40:57,998 --> 00:40:59,631
They can't afford female prostitutes,

466
00:40:59,770 --> 00:41:02,238
so they sleep with each other.

467
00:41:02,376 --> 00:41:06,304
I'm not prepared at all for what I'm about to see and hear --

468
00:41:06,442 --> 00:41:09,223
the reality of the MSM world.

469
00:41:09,361 --> 00:41:18,049
♪♪

470
00:41:28,370 --> 00:41:29,482
Oh, wow.

471
00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:32,888
20p a night to stay here.

472
00:41:33,027 --> 00:41:38,135
♪♪

473
00:42:01,314 --> 00:42:03,365
Cos everyone's freezing in the winter!

474
00:42:24,980 --> 00:42:28,143
[ The Cinematic Orchestra's "All Things to All Men" plays ]

475
00:42:35,301 --> 00:42:37,838
I find it really interesting how, just one wall away,

476
00:42:37,977 --> 00:42:41,243
there's a religious shrine and people are praying,

477
00:42:41,383 --> 00:42:45,101
and then here, it's basically a sex den.

478
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:48,437
[ Death In Vegas's "Dirge" plays ]

479
00:42:51,079 --> 00:42:52,398
It's so strange.

480
00:42:52,538 --> 00:42:54,310
I've never seen this side to Pakistan before.

481
00:42:54,449 --> 00:42:57,438
All of a sudden, there's sex everywhere.

482
00:42:57,577 --> 00:42:59,315
It's just all around us.

483
00:43:03,032 --> 00:43:06,821
What these guys are doing is frontline work, you know.

484
00:43:06,959 --> 00:43:11,477
It feels like the state and the general nation

485
00:43:11,616 --> 00:43:16,447
is ignoring that sex even exists, especially gay sex.

486
00:43:16,585 --> 00:43:20,374
And these guys are talking to these people, one on one,

487
00:43:20,512 --> 00:43:23,606
you know, like three guys.

488
00:43:23,744 --> 00:43:27,497
This is the Pakistan that was never...

489
00:43:27,636 --> 00:43:29,861
exposed to me, you know?

490
00:43:31,008 --> 00:43:35,282
Most Pakistanis wouldn't think of MSM sex as gay sex.

491
00:43:35,421 --> 00:43:38,201
To me, it definitely is.

492
00:43:41,780 --> 00:43:43,727
It feels like this entire country

493
00:43:43,865 --> 00:43:46,889
is in denial about the whole issue.

494
00:43:50,816 --> 00:43:52,136
I'm even beginning to think

495
00:43:52,275 --> 00:43:56,167
that gay sex is actually quite tolerated here.

496
00:44:00,094 --> 00:44:02,561
But then I get a call from Qasim.

497
00:44:04,021 --> 00:44:05,933
He wants to show me a video he's been sent

498
00:44:06,071 --> 00:44:08,712
from a rural part of Pakistan.

499
00:44:10,380 --> 00:44:14,898
It shows a 15-year-old boy who's been caught with his gay lover.

500
00:44:16,844 --> 00:44:18,860
-So...

501
00:44:18,999 --> 00:44:21,222
this video was sent to our drop-in centre,

502
00:44:21,362 --> 00:44:23,412
and then it was sent to me from there.

503
00:44:23,551 --> 00:44:25,567
This is the video.

504
00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:27,652
[ Portishead's "Over" plays ]

505
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:33,247
♪♪

506
00:44:33,386 --> 00:44:35,958
The video is too gruesome to show.

507
00:44:36,096 --> 00:44:39,780
The boy is being sodomised with sticks by an angry mob.

508
00:44:41,692 --> 00:44:43,360
He screams in pain.

509
00:44:43,498 --> 00:44:50,483
♪♪

510
00:44:50,622 --> 00:44:57,538
♪♪

511
00:44:57,677 --> 00:45:04,557
♪♪

512
00:45:04,696 --> 00:45:06,712
I don't think I can watch any more.

513
00:45:06,851 --> 00:45:08,519
-No.

514
00:45:08,658 --> 00:45:12,828
-The video ends with the group trying to throw him off a cliff.

515
00:45:12,968 --> 00:45:15,887
-And there's little children watching.

516
00:45:16,025 --> 00:45:20,855
-It's only the intervention of a bystander that saves his life.

517
00:45:34,408 --> 00:45:37,432
-So, you know, I mean, what do we do with this?

518
00:45:37,571 --> 00:45:39,308
-That's disgusting.

519
00:45:39,448 --> 00:45:41,220
-There's nothing we can do with this.

520
00:45:41,359 --> 00:45:44,904
There is no way we can find out if this guy --

521
00:45:45,042 --> 00:45:46,606
if this boy --

522
00:45:46,746 --> 00:45:49,665
it looks like a young 15-year-old boy --

523
00:45:49,804 --> 00:45:51,297
if he is still alive.

524
00:45:51,437 --> 00:45:56,406
And I bet you the only option he would have had,

525
00:45:56,546 --> 00:45:59,082
if he survived,

526
00:45:59,221 --> 00:46:02,244
was to run away from home.

527
00:46:02,384 --> 00:46:05,372
And once you run away from home, at the age of 15,

528
00:46:05,511 --> 00:46:06,414
you're living out on the streets,

529
00:46:06,554 --> 00:46:08,535
you're even more vulnerable.

530
00:46:08,673 --> 00:46:11,940
-You are living in this country where this stuff is happening,

531
00:46:12,079 --> 00:46:16,318
and you're still working in the field that you're working in.

532
00:46:16,458 --> 00:46:19,307
-Yeah, because there is nobody else who will.

533
00:46:21,392 --> 00:46:24,833
-What Qasim has shown me is truly shocking.

534
00:46:25,910 --> 00:46:28,412
Thankfully, attacks like this are quite rare,

535
00:46:28,551 --> 00:46:31,366
even in remote, rural communities.

536
00:46:31,505 --> 00:46:37,100
♪♪

537
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:40,332
Before I head home, I'm meeting up with Shahzadi.

538
00:46:42,347 --> 00:46:43,945
Hello, Shahzadi.

539
00:46:44,085 --> 00:46:45,545
How are you? Good to see you.

540
00:46:45,683 --> 00:46:48,081
She's flown 1,000 miles from Karachi

541
00:46:48,220 --> 00:46:51,660
to see a doctor here at the drop-in centre.

542
00:46:52,947 --> 00:46:54,823
She's worried that the hormones she's been taking

543
00:46:54,962 --> 00:46:58,819
to help her sex change are having side effects.

544
00:47:00,835 --> 00:47:02,607
Even here, the doctor is worried

545
00:47:02,747 --> 00:47:05,666
about being seen treating LGBT patients,

546
00:47:05,804 --> 00:47:08,758
so he has asked not to be identified.

547
00:49:06,321 --> 00:49:08,302
-Thank you so much.

548
00:49:47,223 --> 00:49:48,787
-I wish you the best.

549
00:49:48,927 --> 00:49:55,668
♪♪

550
00:49:55,807 --> 00:49:58,483
Okay, have a safe journey. -I hope they love this.

551
00:49:58,622 --> 00:50:00,568
Led Zeppelin's "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You" plays ]

552
00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:04,112
♪♪

553
00:50:04,252 --> 00:50:06,580
-♪ Babe ♪

554
00:50:08,874 --> 00:50:13,808
♪ Baby, baby I'm gonna leave you... ♪

555
00:50:13,948 --> 00:50:15,824
-After two weeks here, I feel like I've got

556
00:50:15,963 --> 00:50:18,639
a much better idea how gay Pakistan really is.

557
00:50:18,778 --> 00:50:22,461
-♪ I said baby... ♪

558
00:50:24,442 --> 00:50:29,898
-Pakistan isn't this, you know, super rigid heterosexual place,

559
00:50:30,037 --> 00:50:33,825
like my family and friends make out to be.

560
00:50:33,964 --> 00:50:36,396
There's actually a lot going on,

561
00:50:36,535 --> 00:50:41,366
and, despite what my expectations were,

562
00:50:41,505 --> 00:50:42,930
I've actually found that there is

563
00:50:43,069 --> 00:50:47,378
a really exciting underground LGBT movement.

564
00:50:47,517 --> 00:50:50,818
There are a lot of people taking big, brave steps

565
00:50:50,958 --> 00:50:53,598
to fight for equality.

566
00:50:53,737 --> 00:50:59,992
I think I really value that I'm really lucky

567
00:51:00,132 --> 00:51:02,981
that I can live openly and freely

568
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:06,387
and not have to be scared for my life every day,

569
00:51:06,526 --> 00:51:07,847
which, sadly, isn't the case

570
00:51:07,985 --> 00:51:10,036
for a lot of the people that I've met.

571
00:51:10,175 --> 00:51:13,164
[ Nirvana's "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" plays ]

572
00:51:13,302 --> 00:51:19,488
♪♪

573
00:51:19,627 --> 00:51:25,847
♪♪

574
00:51:25,987 --> 00:51:28,593
-♪ My girl, my girl ♪

575
00:51:28,732 --> 00:51:30,121
[ Line rings ]

576
00:51:30,261 --> 00:51:31,894
-Hello?

577
00:52:11,129 --> 00:52:13,005
-[ Laughs ]

578
00:52:13,144 --> 00:52:16,063
-♪ My girl, my girl ♪

579
00:52:16,202 --> 00:52:19,608
♪ Don't lie to me ♪

580
00:52:19,746 --> 00:52:26,488
♪ Tell me where did you sleep last night ♪

581
00:52:26,627 --> 00:52:30,067
♪ In the pines, in the pines ♪

582
00:52:30,207 --> 00:52:33,439
♪ Where the sun don't ever shine ♪

583
00:52:33,577 --> 00:52:40,111
♪ I would shiver the whole night through ♪

584
00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:43,968
♪ My girl, my girl... ♪